Discipline Them
Dad: Son, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
Son: (Thinking to himself) Does he really think that? He’s never felt the blow of his paddle. Yeah right!
Have you been there before? I have. I’ve experienced both sides of that exchange and it’s looking doubtful that my father-side experiences will ever catch up to my child-side experiences. Looking back, though, makes me thankful my dad truly believed that phrase.
Parents don’t want to bring the pain of discipline to their children but it is a necessary part of raising them. Discipline proves a parents love; it doesn’t negate it. God told his people that they could confirm his love and acceptance of them through his discipline of them (Hebrews 12:5-6). Throughout history, God administered consequences to people who had chosen to ruin themselves by leaving his way. Why? He loved them and couldn’t bear their ruin.
As parents, we must understand the heart from which discipline emerges. It’s a heart of love, compassion and concern. Loving our kids involves wanting the best for them. And sometimes that means we have to enforce what is best when they don’t see it. At other times parents must love their children by making them face the consequence of harmful activity. We restrain. We spank. We remove privileges. But we love them the whole way.
Most parents understand this concept. The difficult part for me is my doubt that my children understand it. And that brings me back to the conversation we read at the beginning. We must continue to reinforce to our children that we discipline because we love. We don’t like it, but we like them more.
So a few suggestions to make our discipline a discipline of love: Try not to discipline in rage. Don’t punish out of embarrassment (that’s about the parent and not the kid). Avoid humiliating them. Explain the reason for the punishment. And one I’m working on—keep from yelling at them, stay calm. Discipline yourself—if you fail at discipline then be honest with your kids about it (e.g., Honey, I’m sorry I yelled at you like that.)
Is this easy? Well, no. But love isn’t easy. Let’s work on this together and examine ourselves. Let’s find one thing we can work on and start this week. You may find that, like me, you raise your voice too much—let’s work on it. Our children deserve the discipline that isn’t easy.
Son: (Thinking to himself) Does he really think that? He’s never felt the blow of his paddle. Yeah right!
Have you been there before? I have. I’ve experienced both sides of that exchange and it’s looking doubtful that my father-side experiences will ever catch up to my child-side experiences. Looking back, though, makes me thankful my dad truly believed that phrase.
Parents don’t want to bring the pain of discipline to their children but it is a necessary part of raising them. Discipline proves a parents love; it doesn’t negate it. God told his people that they could confirm his love and acceptance of them through his discipline of them (Hebrews 12:5-6). Throughout history, God administered consequences to people who had chosen to ruin themselves by leaving his way. Why? He loved them and couldn’t bear their ruin.
As parents, we must understand the heart from which discipline emerges. It’s a heart of love, compassion and concern. Loving our kids involves wanting the best for them. And sometimes that means we have to enforce what is best when they don’t see it. At other times parents must love their children by making them face the consequence of harmful activity. We restrain. We spank. We remove privileges. But we love them the whole way.
Most parents understand this concept. The difficult part for me is my doubt that my children understand it. And that brings me back to the conversation we read at the beginning. We must continue to reinforce to our children that we discipline because we love. We don’t like it, but we like them more.
So a few suggestions to make our discipline a discipline of love: Try not to discipline in rage. Don’t punish out of embarrassment (that’s about the parent and not the kid). Avoid humiliating them. Explain the reason for the punishment. And one I’m working on—keep from yelling at them, stay calm. Discipline yourself—if you fail at discipline then be honest with your kids about it (e.g., Honey, I’m sorry I yelled at you like that.)
Is this easy? Well, no. But love isn’t easy. Let’s work on this together and examine ourselves. Let’s find one thing we can work on and start this week. You may find that, like me, you raise your voice too much—let’s work on it. Our children deserve the discipline that isn’t easy.
posted by Josh Linton at
12:56 PM
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